Mirajane the Matchmaker
by PassiveWriter
Summary: With a few days before valentines day, Mirajane Strauss and Cana Alberona team up to try and bring romance to the guild of Fairy Tail...without much luck. Can they pair everyone up before valentines? Or is this job too great for the them?
1. Prologue

**Mirajane the Matchmaker**

**Prologue**

**03/02**

Mirajane sighed as she observed the guild from behind the bar. There were so many cute couples here, just waiting to be set up. Some were only a little bit away from becoming an item, while others were nowhere near the goal that Mirajane desired. However, it seemed that they would all need a bit of a push to get them in the right direction. A little push…known as demon Mirajane.

With a little giggle, she pulled out a small notepad from the bar and started scribbling the names of all the couples she was going to bring together. No one was to be spared from the wrath of the barmaid, from the tiny Wendy to the romance-shy Erza. Although, setting up a guild full of potential couples would be too much of a task for a one woman team. Especially when it came to people like Natsu, who wouldn't know romance if it hit him in the face.

"How about Cana" Mirajane mused quietly "I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping me." Mirajane looked at the aforementioned woman, who was sitting on a table with a barrel of wine clutched firmly under one arm as she drank directly from another barrel. "Although she might need to go sober if I want a reliable helper" Mirajane decided.

She and Cana were going to make a whole bunch of couples before Valentine's Day, no matter what they had to do. She giggled deviously in anticipation for the weeks ahead. It was going to be a good one.


	2. Convincing Cana

**Mirajane the Matchmaker**

**Chapter one**

**Convincing Cana**

**04/02**

"Hey Mira, gimme some beer please" Cana shouted from across the bar.

"No need to shout Cana, I'm right here" reprimanded Mirajane, who was about to put her plan into action. "Besides, it's too early in the morning for beer. Why don't you have some tea instead?"

Cana looked at Mirajane incredulously before bursting into a fit of raucous laughter. "You want me to drink tea" she managed to choke out in between fits of giggles "what do you take me for, some kind of grandma?

"Hey!" shouted Carla indignantly "I drink tea and I'm not a grandma!"

"You're right" said Cana "You're a cat". She turned back to Mirajane "But seriously, where's the booze? I've got a reputation to uphold."

Mirajane smiled sweetly "I'll give you your beer on one condition: you will help me play matchmaker for the guild."

"Nah, sounds boring" said Cana "Besides it's too much work for a beer"

Mirajane's smile immediately turned into a frown "I didn't say you had a choice" She growled "you're going to help me whether you like it or not."

All Cana could manage was a small squeak

"So it's settled then" said Mira happily as her frown turned upside down "I can't wait to start!"

"Cool" muttered Cana "I still want a beer"

Mirajane obliged, handing Cana her beer along with the list that she had written the day before, who skimmed across it while drinking her beer.

"So you're telling me that I can get my babies (beer) back if I help you with your harebrained little scheme." Cana asked

"That's the gist of it"

"Hmm. Give me another beer and I'll think about it"

Mirajane glared at her

"Okay fine. I'll do it"


	3. Juvia's Jealousy

**Mirajane the Matchmaker**

**Chapter two**

**Juvia's Jealousy**

**05/02**

"Alright" shouted Mirajane "Commence operation Gruvia!"

Cana and the rest of the guild looked at her strangely. Mira just waved. Once everyone stopped looking at her, she grabbed Cana and pulled her into a back room.

"Now this is what we're going to do. You are going to grab Juvia and give her a makeover that will knock Gray's socks off. While you're doing that I will bring Gray over to the bar and chat to him. Then, you'll bring her over and Gray will fall head over heels for her!"

"Um Mira, I'm not sure that your plan is going to work." Said Cana

"Oh nonsense" said Mira airily "It works in all the romance novels"

"Exactly" replied Cana "shouldn't we think of a better-" Cana was cut short as Mira pushed her out of the room.

"Remember" whispered Mira's voice "I've got your babies, so do it right if you want to see them again"

Cana turned pale and ran, snatching a beer from Macao as she started searching for Juvia. She found her talking to Lucy and Levy, grabbed her and dragged her all the way to her dorm at fairy hills.

"Cana-san, what are you doing?" she asked as Cana threw her onto a chair. Her imagination started acting up and she jumped to the conclusion that Cana was trying to keep her away from Gray so that she could never see him again. "NOOO!" she wailed "Gray-sama and I are meant to be! You can't keep us apart!"

"Shush" said Cana "I've been given the wonderful job of making frosty fall in love with you, so if you want that fantasy of yours to come true you'll keep quiet and let me do my job."

Juvia passed out, her mind overridden with perverted fantasies about her and Gray.

Cana sighed. It was going to be a long day.

A few hours later, Juvia was decked out in some of Cana's clothes. She was wearing black pants and a blue bikini top, while her tight curls where messed up so that they fell down to her shoulders. Cana looked at her with an approving eye.

"You can go now" said Cana "I'm sure Gray will fall for you as soon as he sees you"

That was all Juvia needed. With an almighty cry of "GRAY-SAMA!" she tore out of Cana's house and towards the guild as fast as her tight pants would allow.

She arrived at the guild and started looking for Gray. Fortunately, she found him. Unfortunately, Gray's stripping habits had forced him to take off his shirt. Even more unfortunately, he was sitting next to Mirajane. Juvia saw red, and her brain jumped to one conclusion.

"LOVE RIVAL!"

Mirajane turned towards the source of the commotion, and saw Juvia standing there, steaming like a kettle. She barely had time to say "oh dear" before she was knocked off her barstool by a full body tackle courtesy of Juvia. Poor Gray got an eyeful of Juvia's bum, and immediately developed a nosebleed. As luck would have it, he immediately toppled off his barstool and knocked Natsu over, who yelled in shock and let loose a blast of fire from his mouth, narrowly missing Levy, who screamed and jumped into Gajeel's arms. Jet and Droy burst into tears at the sight, and ran out the guild, accidentally knocking Evergreen into Elfman's arms and booting Happy right into Carla, sending the two exceed out of a window. Macao and Wakaba ran around in circles, trying to extinguish the blaze by pouring their beers on it (which only made it worse) while Master Makarov just stared at the destruction that a single woman had just caused. And Erza just sat in the midst of all this chaos, completely absorbed by the cake she was eating.

As Cana stood in the doorway of the guild, only one thought crossed her mind: "What on Earthland was in that beer that I stole from Macao?"


End file.
